Turtle Theory & Conquering Fear

I finally made it out of RIO! got glued to ipenema there for a while, too much romance and adventure i think. so i headed for ilha grande, which is an island 3hours south of rio. on the bus heading there i thought about my turtle theory. how a traveller is like a turtle, their lives on their back and memories inside their hearts! I love that you can just pack up your bag and make a fresh start, whenever you want, and all your memories of people and places youve seen are yours. ilha grande was great. good times, and conquering fears, makes for a successful week in my books. ive decided that israeli's are the wisest backpackers, and even though they are really exclusive and talk hebrew all the time, i made some good friends! JESUS being one of them. he taught be the best words to say in hebrew, and everytime i wanted to get the group's conversation to switch back to english, i would say "yesh vesh" (yes and no) or "be-met??" (really?). so other then experiencing the israeli culture and running riot on the island, i also conquered a big fear of mine. and to do that made me feel so ALIVE!! so here it goes: a fear of being alone. i packed my rucksack, bought some food, and headed for the hills. i trekked accross the island to a small beach, from there i caught a boat to another beach, and on the way, me and two boys decided to jump off!! what can i say, they said they would if i did! and then adriano the boat driver, towed us to shore. from there i trekked, with my eggs carefully attached to the top of my bag, to a isolated beach called santo antonio. i had a relaxing afternoon with the beach to myself, and set up camp on the edge of the boulders of the beach, and the jungle. made a fire, and felt like a cave woman cooking my eggs. I jumped into my hammock-tent as soon as it was dark. at first i lye really still, cause i thought that animals wont know im there. i was nervous, but tried to adjust my thinking. (never watch scary movies ever again - they put unecessary shit in your head). and so my heart was going a hundred mile an hour, so i thought that animals would smell my fear. so i woke up to myself, calmed down, and from there it felt good. through my mosquito net i could see the short length of the beautiful beach i was on, and the stars littered the sky. i had the best seat in the house! without town lights, and just the moon, and the lights of the ships on the horizon, there was this mystic glow of the hills, the beach and the sea. i felt like it was me and god! and so the rest of the night was filled with the noise of the crashing waves, which thankfully drowned out most of the noises of the jungle, not including the couple of snakes that slithered past my tent... i knew i would be fine. when 5am arrived and the first speckle of light appeared, i jumped out of my tent and ran onto the sand jumping up and down. was a good moment cause now i know, that if ever i feel alone, i wont be scared cause i know im stronger than that, all i have to do is think back to my night in the jungle on a deserted beach!! I spent the rest of the day in the waves and on the un-touched sand. i asked god, should i stay another night? and if not, send an ant to bite me. half an hour later, one ant and two march flies bit me. so i packed up my stuff and headed back to the main town. right now, as i sit in an internet cafe in paraty, i can hear good live music on the street, and im in search of some hot food... so talk again soon. love you all. tj