One of the most profound moments in my life, was the few seconds my brother was falling. This moment of eternity impacted my life in ways I could understand and ways that I might not ever know. My heart sank and I felt like I had no insides, when he fell from the top of the third story tower. Not only did I think he was dead before he hit the ground, I thought I had killed him!
I was concentrating so hard on what he was telling me to do. Pull the lever, but not all the way. It was stiff, and I thought my arm was weak. But when the handle suddenly clicked, I froze as the bundled rope at my feet disappeared through the device, like a snake on speed.
Loosing the rope between my hands seemed to happen in sonic speed. What followed was slow motion as he fell about 9metres onto concrete. It was like watching an old motion picture, time-lapsed black & white snapshots, was this really happening?
I can't recall any memory of disconnecting from my safety position, as it felt like he was at my fingertips before he touched the ground. At the last moment he leant to the right, and looked down fearfully at the impact that was inevitable. The majority of the force focused on 10cm of his right wrist & forearm. A compound break that made his hand flop, completely disconnected from his arm except for the skin that held it together.
His first words to me were "Its not your fault". A selfless and interesting choice of words after experiencing intense pain, and words that fell on deaf ears for a little sister in shock. There was already a flood of tears pouring out of my eyes, my soul screaming in pain. It seems bizarre but my mind continued to tell me he was dead.
Two firemen came running towards us. The ultimate test to perform under pressure. Their boss' son injured, a wandering bystander dazed & helpless, and a 12yr old girl screaming, crying and in complete shock. Time stood still as I viewed the event from within a bubble. There was me and adam, and everyone else were only in my periphial vision. I vaguely observe the firemen attempting to tend to Adam's injury and being firmly rejected. My heart continued to feel heavier and heavier, my face still drenched in tears as my young mind still believed my brother was not alive, even if it was obvious that he was. How could he be? A fall that far and survive? Like a surreal dream, pinching yourself to make sure its real, I'm eager to hold him, to feel he's alive and ok.
By now the ambulance is on its way and Dad overhears the call on the radio. He drives instantly to where we are, assuming the worst. Im asked to ride with Dad, but I refuse and beg to go with Adam in the ambulance. The tears flow and I'm slowly calmed down by big brother (in extreme pain) who still effortlessly finds the strength to reassure me.
Causing pain on someone you love, is very painful in itself. I remember praying then, and many years after, that if anything bad were to happen to anyone in my family, please god, let it be me.
So the story goes on that Adam and Dad flew to Singapore in a medical evacuation. He was lucky to receive the best treatment. His wrist was broken in five places, but the doctors put him back together and soon after, sent him home.
The shock I felt on that day was profound. I constantly had to be reassured by my bro that he was OK! "Does your wrist still hurt?" ... a question being asked daily, and one that I jokingly still ask, a decade later.
I no longer pray that I be the one to get hurt, maybe because I eventually experienced intense pain myself. I realise that, between people who love each other, pain felt by one is pain felt by all. So its much better to pray for health & happiness, and appreciate the fact that we have each other, to share the blessing of joy & the burden of pain.
